When To Keep Your Mouth Shut

By Anosha Adil

As Muslims, we can learn a lot about how to carry ourselves by observing and following the Sunnah of Rasulullah (ﷺ). The Prophet (ﷺ) was illiterate, however, no one would have assumed so because he was granted ‘jawami al-kalim’, concise and meaningful speech. He spoke succinctly and eloquently with purpose and wisdom. Through his hadith and example, we can see what we should strive to be.

Muhammad (ﷺ) compared the Muslim to a date palm tree. Muslims should have a positive impact on the community in the same way that a date tree provides in every way possible. Muslims should always be beneficial and supportive towards others, similar to the way in which a date tree always provides fruit no matter the circumstance. We can take guidance from this message by using our speech to support others, especially in hard times. As Muslims who are the minority of the countries in which we reside, we become representatives of Islam, whether or not we choose to do so. Our actions and speech reflect back on our faith, which is why we must be cautious with our speech. It is our duty to represent our religion with the prestige and esteem it deserves.

The Prophet (ﷺ) had also compared the Muslim to a mirror. To be precise, he said, “The believer is the mirror of his brother.” Muslims are meant to provide clarity and speak of the honest reflection this world provides. We help provide insight to others on how to stay well-maintained and decent. However, like a mirror, what a Muslim provides is meant to be private to the individual. A mirror is objective and doesn’t emphasize or belittle the truth. We are not meant to openly point out one’s flaws or make them feel uncomfortable with themselves.

Despite his wise, honest manner, Muhammad (ﷺ) was also joyful and friendly. Abdullah bin Haarith (RA) praised Muhammad (ﷺ) by saying that he had never met anyone more cheerful than the Prophet (ﷺ). Anas bin Malik (RA) recalled that he used to “mingle and joke.” This shows us that while it is important to be honest and sincere, maintaining a friendly, positive manner is a good part of one’s character. Being Muslim does not mean that we are forever confined to be serious and are not allowed to laugh. We are allowed to however we should be cautious that we do not hurt others while we joke or paint a bad image about Islam in our comments.

We are meant to speak of what’s wrong and stand for our faith, but we must remain in our own boundaries. I am going to primarily use the example of a man commenting on a woman’s hijab, however, this can apply to multiple situations. If a man feels the need to demand that a sister fix her hijab, because he finds it distracting. He should choose to avert his gaze rather than rudely comment. Being in the presence of a pious person can incite more change than being advised by one. Kindness is the way to change not reprimand. Things that are not under your control or that you cannot relate to are not things you should find necessary to comment on. It is not necessary that commenting on every bad thing will change it because it may make someone want to commit the sin or mistake further. Instead, if you choose to silently show them the proper way, you will notice that they will slowly realize the mistake. Back to the example, after some time, you will start to see the sister start to tie her hijab tighter and longer.

The Prophet (ﷺ) never said unnecessary things, backbite, slander or make snide remarks. He was kind, positive, and supportive. We can learn how to speak from all we know of his mannerisms and personality. It is easy to fall into habits such as gossiping and if it becomes such a habit, we may not even realize we are doing it. As a result, we should always think before we speak and refrain from speaking unnecessarily and in a way that could hurt others. We ask Allah (SWT) to always protect from sins of the tongue such as backbiting and slandering and to always bring us back to the right path if we do fall into it. Realizing that you have an issue is one of the first steps in correcting an issue so we ask Allah (SWT) to always give us the guidance to have caution in our speaking.